reflection

I wonder if life ever slows down? Ha. Doubt it. I don't remember a time when I didn't have a zillion things going on at once. Sometimes I like it, even thrive on it, and sometimes I'm just so tired. Right now, I'm okay with it all, I'm just in a reflective mood.

You know, God really does work in mysterious ways. I know everyone knows that, but its always a fresh feeling when something happens to me and I just know it's His doing. Even if its something hard. Hey, maybe my New Year's resolution to be more positive is working.

The girl I was the closest to at work - probably even the closest to period - and I are not speaking, and haven't been for a week now. It's a long story, but she's been acting wierd lately - well, not wierd, just all her bad qualities have been amplified somehow - and has been really mean lately. To my knowledge, nothing is going on to have her acting like this, though she does tend to be a pretty private person. So who knows. But I really did think we were good friends. Well, last week, she said something really hateful to me. It really hurt my feelings and ticked me off once I thought about it. I made it known how I felt about what she said, but she doesn't seem to care. She's one of those people who thinks she's like over everyone else, and it's her way or the highway (but at the same time, she lacks self-confidence and is very sensitive - she's a study of contradictions). So she's ticked that I'm not bowing down to her or coming crawling back to her, licking my wounds like a little puppy. Sorry, I'm not like that. I'm standing up to her, even if no one else is. There's a whole lot more to it, and this probably makes me sound like the bad guy. But everyone is on my side.

It's hard not talking to her anymore, especially since we're together 8-9 hours every day in a small room. But she's suddenly finding things to do in other rooms, which is fine with me. It's hard, but I've noticed some positive effects as well. I'm actually calming down, little things are not getting to me like they used to. Maybe since I don't have someone right there to complain about every little thing, I'm not dwelling on those things anymore. Or maybe she just brings out that bad quality in me. I don't know. I haven't felt inclined to talk junk about people like we used to do all the time. There's several little things like that that I just don't feel the need to do anymore. So even though its hard, its been kind of good. So maybe God made this happen because I needed a change? Maybe. Either way, I'm okay with it all. Luckily, I have other friends.

Paul and I just made a new couple-friend last weekend. Finally! So maybe we can do things as a group sometimes. ( :

Alright, that's enough. Crystal, I may be coming to Raleigh on Sunday. If I do, I'll call you! (My friend Mart-Marshall is getting a horse on trial and wants me to go up and ride him.)